What Knot To Wear

Just finished watching the final season of my fav TLC program of all time, "What Not To Wear". I just enjoy watching the squirm of the most unlikely candidates they can find. Stacy and Clinton always convict me with their rigors of questioning like, "Do you like wearing your clothes?", or "Are you more concerned with comfort than fashion?", or "Do you REALLY think that looks attractive on you?", or (even worse), "You know, we're getting rid of your entire wardrobe, right?" Ugh. It's not Sue Duffield on the program today, but it might as well be. My Annie often threatens me that, one day, Stacy and Clinton will appear when I least expect it.

As far as fashion goes, I know I lead two very distinct and different looks and lives. I have a stage wardrobe life and a casual every-day "whatever" roadrobe (!) Raise your hand if you have a roadrobe? I know you do. And depending on the fluctuation of flab and distribution of equidistant fat cells, my roadrobe is much more forgiving than the wardrobe. I also have a friend who tells me that I need to wear more scarves, with different chic and creative ways to tying the knot. Now, that's "knot" saying that I can't, but I struggle with knot-tying. Definitely knot a strength I have. And that's knot saying that I can't learn... Knot really.

Here's three "knots" that I learned from Clinton today. He actually mentions these three points in one definitive sentence. Clinton has no idea how this applies to just about everything I am. I think we can learn something here: 

1. Become your own woman. 
I'm not sure who's dressing who, but when it comes to stage attire, it bothers me how some grown women are letting their teenage/young adult daughters tell them what to wear. Becoming your own woman really means: Be who YOU are, not your daughter's replica or the stores' style where she buys her stuff. In my line of work, I take a lot of time making sure my image isn't overshadowing the real reason I am there, and that's to be a vessel for Christ. I recently sang for an event where eighty percent of the audience were men. As a precaution and as an awareness mindset, it would never be in my thoughts to dress provocatively, curvy or exposing more flesh than necessary. Modesty, I know, has become the socially distressed dinosaur in some circles, but in this particular venue - it is imperative that I project a more business style. There is no question I am here for one reason and one reason alone: To be a carrier of the gospel and not a physical distraction. Following the service, a man approaches me and says, "Thank you, Ms. Sue, for presenting in a way where we men didn't have to fight thoughts and fantasies." I knew immediately what he meant. I smile and say to myself, "Thank you God, for wisdom." What knot to wear? Wear the knot in your throat that reminds you, you could miss this whole thing, if you wear something inappropriate. (Time capsule): I used to wear short skirts (mini-skirts) on the stages of churches back in the 70s. And yes, I listened to the wisdom of my mother-in-law, and "lengthened" my shelf life in the gospel business, by lengthening my skirts.

2. Define your own style.   
Marita Littauer makes a great living counseling women speakers on how to dress. She has a more flamboyant style than I'd wear, but over all, she's right: Your personality and the colors you wear really go hand in hand. I prefer to wear more solid colors rather than prints on stage. In the professional world, solid primary colors show confidence and command attention. Imagine this: What if it was just a tweaking of a color change or a solid color that made your message even more effective? Would you change what you're wearing then? I prefer suits. Always have. Always will. But not every venue is a suit venue. I have a more tailored style taste. I know it. I live it. And because this style is never trendy or reflective of the current culture fads necessarily.. I'm always IN style. What knot to wear? Wear the knot on your head, after you've hit your noggin with your V8 moment realizing... your definitive style speaks volumes. They'll hear your message louder, without the showy distraction.

Though one may be overpowered,

    two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.Though one may be overpowered,    two can defend themselves.A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

3. Get On With Your Life!   
Here's the freeing aspect that goes hand in hand with the gospel: We "wear" His name. And if we wear His name, no matter what our size or style, we are free to get going with the things that matter most. What knot to wear? Wear the knot that ties us together. Keep your stomach OUT of knots, when you know you have the power to be a great witness, and not a preoccupation with how you look. Wear the knot that signifies a coming together of many strands. It's the knot that can never be torn apart. It's the knot of eternal friendship. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

For more fun, here's a great book, "The Knot Handbook". You'll see more spiritual and scriptural application in this little manual than most Christian books! And you'll really see "what knot to wear"!

And more good follow up (from a man/father filter), ready Michael Hyatt's blog post here:
Whatever Happened To Modesty?

Amusing Grace

I didn't exactly use a lot of wisdom back in the 70s. I remember wearing short skirts on church platforms and event stages, then being reprimanded later for my lack of discernment in my choice of attire (or "attire-less"). Today, I wouldn't be caught dead in a short skirt and that's not because I have some sort of clothes-line religion - just that I care NOT to expose my white-pillar dimpled thighs and "shar pei" wrinkled knobby knees to the world. The "amusing grace" about this is: At one time, I had pretty nice legs! And now I don't, so there's no need to subject them to the public.

A young teenage girl asked me recently to evaluate her performance, her singing and her stage presence. (I find this to be a very delicate thing to do, by the way..) But I did it anyway. Before she sang a note, I asked her, "What will you be wearing when you sing and lead worship?" She said, "Hmm, never thought much about that. Probably what I'm wearing now..". (She had on shorts and a T-shirt) I told her my story from the 70s and encouraged her to "think" about her fashion statement before representing the gospel on stage. A chill went down my spine, realizing that I had become exactly that same archaic old-fashioned voice who reprimanded me 37 years ago! Amusing Grace.

I was at a conference where a scantily clad young woman was singing in the worship band. I could not imagine what the men were thinking, let alone the teenage boys in the crowd. I assumed everyone around me thought I was very spiritual, because from the moment she hit the stage, I slammed my eyes shut - not opening them until the worship segment was over. The "Amusing Grace" part about this was: While trying to focus on worshipping God, I kept "seeing" myself 37 years prior, in my little white mini-skirt - trying to sing for Jesus!

As women, we're all better off when we choose to represent Christ in a fashionably modest way. I know how tough that can be, especially in the summer months with all the media venues hitting us with what is "cool" and "chic" to wear. I'll be forever indebted to Moody Bible's Dr. Rosalie de Rosset for her workshop, "Thinking Theologically in a Hollywood Mindset", at the Elmbrook Women's Conference a few years back. If you'd like a copy or download of her teaching, post a comment here and I'll send it to you or give you information on how you can get it. It'll shock you, move you, disturb you and create in you a real desire to counsel our young girls (and sometimes the older gals too!) on how they (we) dress. I guarantee, you'll need the "amusing grace" to have the courage to lead, represent and instruct. If we don't do it (in love), who will?